All He Has Done

"Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-7)

This morning I glanced at these verses for the first time in a couple months. These words have become seared in my mind and heart this past year, as I clung to them throughout the days leading to Micah's adoption and purposed daily not to worry but to pray. But today, I was struck by the words "and thank him for all he has done." Recently I've not been doing much thanksgiving. Little Zoe was not feeling well again yesterday, likely from her new outburst of teeth, and I've been so quick to begin grumbling each time illness reappears.

Much of our adoption journey was about learning who God is, but this morning I just want to throw out a list of the things God has done that I am thankful for in the past several months:

1) He guarded our hearts and minds with his peace throughout Micah's adoption. We were a bit unsettled when unexpected information came early on in our match with Micah, but the Lord gave overwhelming peace, and of course today we can not imagine Micah not being our son.

2) He healed our son. Micah never stayed in the NICU for the health concerns we anticipated. Today he is a chunky little 2 month old who saves his biggest smiles for his Daddy :-)

3) He showed great mercy and love for our family--our paperwork was rushed through both Florida and Indiana, and we were home for Christmas, weeks earlier than we expected.

4) He's given us three beautiful children who love each other. I had not expected the deep love my two little children would have for their new brother. They absolutely adore him.

5) He's given us extended family and friends who love us. This past weekend my parents were here, and it was so special to see the love they poured out on all of us. Friends also have offered much encouragement and support in the past weeks.

6) He restored our souls. Through these past weeks of illness, there were moments when the toddler screaming was unbearable. The Lord provided rest and refreshment, and we feel greatly renewed in our parenting and marriage.

Take a moment to reflect on what the Lord done for you lately. Have you prayed for and received His promised peace? His peace truly exceeds anything we can understand :-).

Well, it's been over a month since I've blogged. I've felt on several occasions I owed you a post, but in reality, every time I sat down to write the page stared back blankly. It's been hard to put into words all that we've been feeling this past month.

Our first week home with Micah was absolutely wonderful. We took him to church for the first time on his original due date; a healthy little guy without a care in the world. He and his siblings were decked out in cute little Christmas clothes from Grandma, and life was smiley, happy, and truly joyful. Christmas Day was one of the highlights of our year, I think, as we enjoyed the bright-eyed wonder of small children opening their first Christmas gifts in their own home, as well as a three-year-old who is really starting to understand who Jesus is and why we celebrate Christmas. We experienced such a blessed Christmas Day as a family of five and could see the beautiful story of adoption finally unfolding in our home.

Then there was the day after Christmas. And the following 21 days. Sickness hit our family in waves, first coming for Micah as a bad cold, then a stomach bug passing through Micah, Daniel, and I, then a cold hitting Nathan, Zoe, and I, teething for Zoe, and finally another stomach bug hitting all of us but Micah.

There is nothing like sick children to suck the happiness and smiles from life in a hurry. Wondering if your 5-week-old baby has kept enough fluids down is hard. Having to wake up at 2, 4, and 5 a.m. between newborn feedings to clean up bed sheets and change pajamas and bathe children is miserable. Having to fill the bathroom with steam quickly so your 3-year-old will stop panicking that he can't breathe is stressful. On the days Daniel or I or Daniel and I were also sick, happiness quickly diminished.

From the beginning of our adoption journey, we knew that entering into adoption meant engaging in spiritual battle. Throughout Micah's adoption, Satan has attempted to shift our gaze from God's best plan for us in this season of life through discouragement, disillusionment, and doubt. During these past three weeks, I lost sight of God's best plan on more than one occasion. What were we doing? Caring for three sick children was absolutely beyond our physical or emotional strength capacity.

In reflecting on these weeks, I am reminded of the time Elijah fled to the wilderness wanting the Lord to take his life because Jezebel was trying to kill him. Elijah had just seen God work mightily, but the moment the enemy (Jezebel) entered the scene, he lost sight of the Lord for a bit. But in response to his pitiful plea to die, the Lord simply allowed him to rest, sent an angel to give him food and water, allowed him to rest more, and told him to eat more so the journey ahead would not be too much.

I love that instead of reprimanding him, the Lord just hit the reset button for Elijah by allowing and providing necessary rest and physical nourishment. And in Elijah's moment of great emotional weakness, God showed Himself to Elijah not as a tornado or an earthquake but as a gentle whisper; a still, small voice.

This is what the Lord did for me this week. I was the one running to the wilderness (or, in mom terms, the bathroom) to escape. I was definitely hitting an emotional low, despite having just seen the great and mighty acts God had just done in Micah's adoption. Yet God gently provided what I needed and is bringing me back to a place where I can hear His gentle whisper again.

Just as God sent an angel to Elijah's side, He sent other believers to our side this week to bring rest and nourishment. One family brought groceries and Starbucks to our door. Another family watched all three of our kids for a day so we could have a break from our sweet Zoe's constant screaming. Several friends sent messages that they were praying specific Scriptures over our family. Grandparents drove 8 hours to spend the last three days with us, knowing fully that they would likely catch the stomach bug we've been sharing. A dear friend brought encouragement from halfway around the world. The Lord sent His people to bring rest and nourishment to see us through a tough low in our journey.

I will enter this new Monday morning feeling refreshed and renewed by the Body of Christ. This morning in church as we sang the song “Build Your Kingdom Here,” I was filled with hope and resolve. As you continue pray for our family, please pray that we will let the Holy Spirit fill our hearts and home with the strength and love of Christ.

Come set Your rule and reign
In our hearts again
Increase in us we pray
Unveil why we're made
Come set our hearts ablaze with hope
Like wildfire in our very souls
Holy Spirit come invade us now
We are Your Church
We need Your power
In us

-Build Your Kingdom Here; Rend Collective