Our first week home with Micah was absolutely wonderful. We took him to church for the first time on his original due date; a healthy little guy without a care in the world. He and his siblings were decked out in cute little Christmas clothes from Grandma, and life was smiley, happy, and truly joyful. Christmas Day was one of the highlights of our year, I think, as we enjoyed the bright-eyed wonder of small children opening their first Christmas gifts in their own home, as well as a three-year-old who is really starting to understand who Jesus is and why we celebrate Christmas. We experienced such a blessed Christmas Day as a family of five and could see the beautiful story of adoption finally unfolding in our home.
Then there was the day after Christmas. And the following 21 days. Sickness hit our family in waves, first coming for Micah as a bad cold, then a stomach bug passing through Micah, Daniel, and I, then a cold hitting Nathan, Zoe, and I, teething for Zoe, and finally another stomach bug hitting all of us but Micah.
There is nothing like sick children to suck the happiness and smiles from life in a hurry. Wondering if your 5-week-old baby has kept enough fluids down is hard. Having to wake up at 2, 4, and 5 a.m. between newborn feedings to clean up bed sheets and change pajamas and bathe children is miserable. Having to fill the bathroom with steam quickly so your 3-year-old will stop panicking that he can't breathe is stressful. On the days Daniel or I or Daniel and I were also sick, happiness quickly diminished.
From the beginning of our adoption journey, we knew that entering into adoption meant engaging in spiritual battle. Throughout Micah's adoption, Satan has attempted to shift our gaze from God's best plan for us in this season of life through discouragement, disillusionment, and doubt. During these past three weeks, I lost sight of God's best plan on more than one occasion. What were we doing? Caring for three sick children was absolutely beyond our physical or emotional strength capacity.
In reflecting on these weeks, I am reminded of the time Elijah fled to the wilderness wanting the Lord to take his life because Jezebel was trying to kill him. Elijah had just seen God work mightily, but the moment the enemy (Jezebel) entered the scene, he lost sight of the Lord for a bit. But in response to his pitiful plea to die, the Lord simply allowed him to rest, sent an angel to give him food and water, allowed him to rest more, and told him to eat more so the journey ahead would not be too much.
I love that instead of reprimanding him, the Lord just hit the reset button for Elijah by allowing and providing necessary rest and physical nourishment. And in Elijah's moment of great emotional weakness, God showed Himself to Elijah not as a tornado or an earthquake but as a gentle whisper; a still, small voice.
This is what the Lord did for me this week. I was the one running to the wilderness (or, in mom terms, the bathroom) to escape. I was definitely hitting an emotional low, despite having just seen the great and mighty acts God had just done in Micah's adoption. Yet God gently provided what I needed and is bringing me back to a place where I can hear His gentle whisper again.
Just as God sent an angel to Elijah's side, He sent other believers to our side this week to bring rest and nourishment. One family brought groceries and Starbucks to our door. Another family watched all three of our kids for a day so we could have a break from our sweet Zoe's constant screaming. Several friends sent messages that they were praying specific Scriptures over our family. Grandparents drove 8 hours to spend the last three days with us, knowing fully that they would likely catch the stomach bug we've been sharing. A dear friend brought encouragement from halfway around the world. The Lord sent His people to bring rest and nourishment to see us through a tough low in our journey.
I will enter this new Monday morning feeling refreshed and renewed by the Body of Christ. This morning in church as we sang the song “Build Your Kingdom Here,” I was filled with hope and resolve. As you continue pray for our family, please pray that we will let the Holy Spirit fill our hearts and home with the strength and love of Christ.
Come set Your rule and reign
In our hearts again
Increase in us we pray
Unveil why we're made
Come set our hearts ablaze with hope
Like wildfire in our very souls
Holy Spirit come invade us now
We are Your Church
We need Your power
In us
-Build Your Kingdom Here; Rend Collective
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